Daily Archives: 8 October 2013

So long. Farewell. {saying goodbye to my apartment}

apartment exterior

I had always been able to make rent on my apartment during these 3+ years of unemployment, but the time came this past March when I certain that I shouldn’t renew. During the two previous renewal periods I’d felt confident that I was to stay in the lease and trust God to provide each month’s expenses. And He did provide! But this year I knew it was time to move on.

At the time I was still partially employed as a website content manager and that monthly stipend covered 80% of my rent. But I sensed this job would soon be off the table, and with no new leads on other employment, my future income looked very bleak. Much prayer confirmed that it was time to find a new place to live – and this time I needed to find a way to live within my means, insignificant as they were. I submitted a move-out notice for May 31st.

As only God can, the next two months brought provision after provision. Within the first week, I received an unexpected phone call from a personnel agency that I’d thought was closed to me, and a couple weeks later I was working 30-hour weeks for a Christian organization. Though the salary did not cover cost of a new living space, I’ve seen God work with much less, so I proceeded with the packing process.
apartment packing

By the end of May I was shoulder-deep in boxes bound for storage, piles of paper to be recycled, and stacks of items for giving away. I spent every free moment purging 20 years of my life and 8 years of accumulated “stuff” in order to fill a 5’x10′ storage unit (the only one I could afford). As the days progressed I became less attached to things and more willing to toss them aside. While I hoped to be in a new place by end of summer, I packed up my life on the assumption that I was heading to a homeless shelter on June 1st.

God has a crazy great way of waiting till the last minute to reveal His plans to me, so it was nearly the end of May before I received a phone call that changed my “plans” once again. An acquaintance of my parents agreed to let me stay in a garage apartment used for visiting missionaries in need of a temporary home. And, just as God always works things out, I didn’t have to pay living expenses throughout the summer. It turned out to be the greatest of all blessings when my health issues became debilitating and my job could not be maintained. I shouldn’t be amazed – though I always am – how God makes provision for a future that I could never predict.

Saying goodbye to a home is never easy, and this 8-year residence was the longest I’d had since moving from my parents’ home. It was only the second time in my life I’d felt fully independent, fully adult. That feeling waned a lot as I became more emotionally dependent on my family and financially dependent on workforce assistance, but the majority of my time in this 700-square-foot flat was filled with great memories and easy circumstances.
living room move-out

On the day my family helped move the bulk of items to my storage unit, I stood beside my parents’ truck and thanked them for their continual help. As they drove away and I walked up the hill to my building, I felt months of suppressed emotion welling up in my throat. Tears formed at the corners of my eyes, and I could not have spoken to anyone. It was the first sense I’d had of finality. Despite all the prior weeks of packing and sorting, it was only in that instant when I felt the sadness of leaving. In that moment, my life was taking a turn down an unknown path.

I’m still walking blindly, but I fully trust God for direction. I trust that it will be revealed to me at the exact right time. It’s this faith that carries me through, but it’s a Great Hope that makes me keep searching. Moving from this place of comfort is just one more chapter in a long life of learning how God works, who He is, and who He created me to be.

Throughout this month I’m participating in 31 Days, a challenge issued by The Nester to post on your blog each day in October. If you’ve missed any of my 31-day Blogging Catch-Up, you can see a list of the posts on this index page. You can also receive new posts via email by completing the form below.

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