Married to God
It was such an innocent statement but so very true.
“So, you’re married to God?”
We were on our way to Baskin Robbins for a quick Camp AJ moment. I was trying to delicately explain how some women get older and experience crazy changes in their bodies and that’s why I’d had to cancel our big day at the park the week before. But the boy is just barely 11 years old and doesn’t know the depth of differences in girls and boys. He doesn’t understand how “that time of the month” can wreak havoc on a girl. I did my best to explain without really explaining, and eventually settled on the fact that women get older and their bodies experience all kinds of crazy things on the inside and then they can no longer carry babies. Which is what had been going on with me throughout the summer.
“But you didn’t have a baby yet,” he interjected.
“No, I didn’t,” I replied, “And I won’t ever have one. You’re the last of the grandkids.”
Then in his matter-of-fact manner he asked (not for the first time), “Why won’t you have a baby?”
I answered, “Because I didn’t want to have a baby without being married, and I never knew anyone that I wanted to marry.”
And then he answered his own question. “So, you’re married to God?”
I smiled. “”Yes, that’s exactly right. Sometimes God has plans for people that don’t include getting married and being a parent. I knew a long time ago that’s what God wanted for me.”
The boy’s questions continued as we drove to our destination — the questions always continue — and we talked of how Jesus is called the bridegroom and those of us who believe in Him are His bride, the Church. And we talked about how much I want to be well again and how hard it is for me to live with so many health problems. I told him how much I hate to cancel plans with him.
He doesn’t really understand, of course, and I don’t expect it of him. I just do my best, as much as I can, and I pray that the days of disappointment will be lost to time and his memories will be full of the moments we get to share.
I suspect there will be a day when I’m not living 15 minutes away and we won’t see each other every week. There might be a time when I’m half a country (or half a world) away. So I want these days to count for a lifetime, and I want him to know that God does awesome things in people’s lives. Even when some years seem empty. Even when every day is a challenge just to sit upright. I want him to remember our honest conversations and our great friendship.
And I want the boy to love our God. The same God who kept me for Himself.
Throughout this month I’m participating in 31 Days, a challenge issued by The Nester to post on your blog each day in October. If you’ve missed any of my 31-day Blogging Catch-Up, you can see a list of the posts on this index page. You can also receive new posts via email by completing the form below.