five minute friday :: On Waking Up
I’m struggling to wake up these days. This week, especially… no, these past three weeks… I’ve really had difficulty feeling rested and sleeping to satisfaction. It seems I’m having no trouble getting to sleep anymore, but now I don’t want to wake up. And can’t wake up. For hours upon hours upon hours. Is this some second phase of adjusting my sleep patterns to a normal state? First I kept vampire hours and walked around in a zombie state, and now I’m totally and completely in hibernation? And at the beginning days of spring? I’d think I was in a depression if I didn’t know better. I’ve seen depression — I’ve experienced depression — and I know this ain’t it. But what it is has me clueless.
I keep trying to work through it. I keep setting alarms to get up and out of bed, but most of the time I’m not hearing them at all. And I haven’t heard the back-up alarms at all this week. Nor the phone ringing nor the call of my brain pulling me to wakefulness. Instead, I’m just floating around in a dream world, unable to wake up.
But I have to say, I’m tired of being so tired.
Five Minute Friday prompts are designed by The Gypsy Mama, challenging us to “just write, and not worry. For five minutes flat. Simply stop, drop and write. Set your words free. Don’t edit them, don’t fret over them, don’t try to make them perfect.”