one word: focus
My mind stays in a constant state of whirling, so pure focus can often be difficult for me. That’s not to say I can’t focus; thankfully, I’ve never struggled with any kind of attention deficit. I can and often will stay on one task for hours and hours at a time, but the process of achieving such focus requires me to push everything else to the far edges of my consciousness. In essence, it requires me to shut out everything but the one task at hand. While I can multi-task, my work is much more excellent when I put all of my attention onto one single area and stay with it until it is complete. And because I am a perfectionist, I will always choose the path to excellence over any other option.
These days I have had to make this adjustment in relation to freelance work. In order to pay the rent, I’ve had to place all energy and all time onto one single task — creating content for a website redesign project. Because the job is expansive and involves many hours of tedious concentration on words and web code, I have been forced to let go of all other creative endeavors. My blog has suffered greatly this week especially, and I suspect there will be a few more weeks ahead that this is true. I hate it, but I have realized that my own creativity has to be channeled into the website project, and that just doesn’t leave me with much else right now. I wish I was more adept at switching from one creative task to another, but the truth about me is that I get tunnel vision until a project is complete. I can’t even read two books at one time, as one story inevitably draws my focus moreso than the other. And I’m okay with that. It may make me a bit OCD, but I’ve learned to live with it. Though I’m anxious to return to creative projects of my own choosing, I am not inclined to change a process that results in the highest standard of quality. To me, that’s just too great a sacrifice.
This post was derived from the list of inspiration words gathered on Ali Edwards’s blog and from the concept of writing about one word.