one word: growth
It is always a goal for me to grow as a person, as a personality, as a human and a friend, and I do hope that I am never the same woman one year that I was during the previous year. Of course, this is a challenge, especially for me. It is the reason I journal, so I have a record of who I was and how I struggled, that it may serve to guide me (or at least grant perspective) when I am stuck in the same situations or cycles that I’ve experienced before. I know that each year I hit a period of difficulty around this same time during which I struggle to see light in the midst of my days. I will usually crawl into the crevices and try to remain invisible, locking myself away and living a solitary existence. Perhaps there is a specific point in my past that explains the timing, the habit, or perhaps it’s just seasonal. No matter, it is a cycle that I struggle to overcome and which I attempt to grow beyond each and every year. I don’t want to remain the same; I’m not called to remain the same. And so I seek God’s help to overcome my past and to grow into the woman He created me to become. That it’s a slow and steady growth is sometimes hard to bear, especially when I long to break free of so many tendencies and cycles, but the fact that I’m still growing and God is still working gives me comfort and strength to continue. Thankfully, at the end of the long, dark tunnel there is always a sliver of Light. I need only to remember to reach for the hands of those who walk beside me in the dark.