five minute friday :: On Waking Up

I’m struggling to wake up these days. This week, especially… no, these past three weeks… I’ve really had difficulty feeling rested and sleeping to satisfaction. It seems I’m having no trouble getting to sleep anymore, but now I don’t want to wake up. And can’t wake up. For hours upon hours upon hours. Is this some second phase of adjusting my sleep patterns to a normal state? First I kept vampire hours and walked around in a zombie state, and now I’m totally and completely in hibernation? And at the beginning days of spring? I’d think I was in a depression if I didn’t know better. I’ve seen depression — I’ve experienced depression — and I know this ain’t it. But what it is has me clueless.

I keep trying to work through it. I keep setting alarms to get up and out of bed, but most of the time I’m not hearing them at all. And I haven’t heard the back-up alarms at all this week. Nor the phone ringing nor the call of my brain pulling me to wakefulness. Instead, I’m just floating around in a dream world, unable to wake up.

I watched Inception last night, just to feel some kind of connection. Me and Leo, stuck in limbo.

But I have to say, I’m tired of being so tired.

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Five Minute Friday prompts are designed by The Gypsy Mama, challenging us to “just write, and not worry. For five minutes flat. Simply stop, drop and write. Set your words free. Don’t edit them, don’t fret over them, don’t try to make them perfect.”

thanks, Joel Gretsch!

       Trying to figure out where you’ve seen Joel Gretsch? Check out his filmography.

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My Thank You Notes series is inspired by Leah Dieterich who strives to write a thank you note every single day. View her notes at Thx Thx Thx. And don’t miss my girl Cerella’s own Notes series over at The Cerella Life!

Spring Cleaning :: mapping the project

I’ve come to the week when I can no longer put off the major project that is cleaning my apartment. Though I tried doing a little just after the new year, I got no further than shifting the living room furniture and leaving all of the small items in piles on my bedroom floor. I’ve not touched it since January, and though it’s bothered me to a certain extent, I just haven’t motivated myself to tackle it all. But the time has come. For the past few weeks I’ve been making notes to myself of things I want to remember during the cleaning process — like clearing off shelves and completely removing from the apartment pieces of small furniture that just take up space. After a while I realized that all of my notes needed to be better organized or I would surely spend too much time on one small thing and never accomplish some of the larger tasks. Which would only mean I’d been looking at these issues again in a couple of months. And that I certainly don’t want.

Enter the mind map.

Phases 1 and 2 focus entirely on completing the living room shuffle and clearing out the bedroom, so my first little diagram features only the plans for those two rooms. And since they comprise the bulk of the project, it only makes sense for me to focus on them first. Otherwise, I’d just get tired of the entire process and quit before ever tackling those spaces. Not good. And so, this is where I shall be spending my first 2-3 days of the week. Feel free to stop by anytime and lend a hand!

click to enlarge

mind map created at Text2MindMap

five-minute friday :: On Waiting

Sometimes I think I’m very good at waiting. Most times, though, I must admit that I truly stink at being patient. I wait to understand God’s path for me. That takes all kinds of courage and faith. I wait to become the woman I dream of becoming… not acknowledging that it’s all in my hands in the first place and that God is waiting for me to become that woman, as well. I wait daily to find a rhythm that seems to capture my best potential, to use my talents and my skills to their fullest. Why am I waiting?! Heaven only knows. I just wait and wait and wait, but I rarely do anything. I feel lazy, unmotivated, uninterested, and oh-so-fearful. Even though I know in my heart I’m none of those things. They are lies told to me by a fallen angel (believing himself a prince) who wants nothing more than to see me ignore the whispers of my heart — the very whispers that echo God’s desires. God wants success for me. And He wants me to step forward and take it. Maybe I’m lying to myself, as well, in that I believe I can’t see what I’m supposed to take. But I feel like I don’t know the next step, and, Father in heaven, I really want to know.

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Five Minute Friday prompts are designed by The Gypsy Mama, challenging us to “just write, and not worry. For five minutes flat. Simply stop, drop and write. Set your words free. Don’t edit them, don’t fret over them, don’t try to make them perfect.” I’m still working on the “don’t edit” portion of that mandate, but I simply tweak rather than rewrite. You should try it, too. It’s liberating!

birthdays, part one :: Scenes from Skateland

A few weeks ago, a group of school-aged friends and some of our extended family gathered at Skateland to celebrate our Dubya’s number 11 birthday. There were disco lights, a mirror ball, the not-quite-best music from the 80s, and kids on wheels everywhere you looked. We saw a few adults on skates, as well, and even an honest-to-goodness mullet made an appearance where it really shouldn’t have been. But the party was a huge success, and the boy had a broad smile on his face all afternoon. The only thing that could’ve made it better was a little bit more light for my photos, but that’s the least of what mattered on this day. By the end of the two-hour skate time, the birthday boy crashed into the side wall and put his head down saying, “The word to sum up this day is ‘Ouch.’” We couldn’t have asked for a better time.