21 November 2007 Leave a comment
| How then can they call on the One they have not believed in? And how can they believe in the One of whom they have not heard? And how can they hear without someone preaching to them? And how can they preach unless they are sent? — Romans 10:14-15 |
| DAILY JOURNAL |
21 November 2007 Leave a comment
PREFACE
The past two years of my life have been introspective and full of personal, spiritual analysis. During this time I read many books, completed several Bible studies, and sought much counsel to answer one simple question that has plagued me throughout my life: “Why am I here? What is my purpose in this life?” I have never felt called to any specific career path, and I’ve never found that level of happiness I expected to have by this point in my life. For many, many years I’ve struggled with feelings of inadequacy and personal failure. And so, at the beginning of 2006, I began a pointed search to determine just what God’s purpose for me was meant to be.
Throughout the year the Lord answered me again and again in the exact same way: “Your only purpose is to love the Lord your God with all of your heart and with all of your soul and with all of your mind” (Matthew 22:37). Of course, I decided it couldn’t be that simple. And yet, everywhere I turned someone was preaching or teaching or quoting this same scripture verse. Time and again these teachers used the phrase, “your purpose.” Determining to embrace this truth, to accept that my only purpose in life was to love my God, has changed the way I look at everything in my life and in this world. No longer am I tied to profession or future plans or a skewed view of personal happiness. I am on this earth for one and only one purpose. And that is liberating.
The beginning of 2007 brought to me a new desire: to find my “mission”. My church has been focusing on missional living for quite some time now, and I have never quite known how that should play out in my daily life, but I prayed one specific prayer in early 2007. I asked the Lord to allow me to join a mission trip at some point during the year. I had no specific destination in mind; I simply wanted to step out and join God at work in the world, wherever that took me. It’s a frightening prayer, “wherever You will send me”, but I have come to trust in the Lord in ways I never knew I could, so I was ready to go “wherever” if He would provide the way. Within days my pastor announced a mission trip to Romania. I was overwhelmed at the timing of God’s answer. And I knew immediately that He would provide all of the financial means and the time off from work and any other need that would arise; all I had to do was believe He would do it and live in expectant faith.
During the next months I saw God put everything into place: a donation was given that covered the full expense of the trip and I was blessed to be its recipient; friends and family provided financial help to purchase the necessary resources I needed to travel internationally, and several friends provided specific items for use during my time abroad so that I wouldn’t have to purchase them; health problems that have plagued me for most of my adult life finally became manageable before I ever set foot on an airplane or experienced a new culture. Detail after detail fell into place, and I have no doubt that God did all of it. I was blessed before ever leaving the States. I knew that the blessings to come would be immeasurable.
As I prayed in preparation for our work in Arad, I began to understand that I not only had one purpose in this life, but also one simple mission. My mission is Christ’s mission: go into all the world and make disciples of all people. Again, it’s so simple, and yet it’s the most important thing we’ll ever do in this life. I did not understand the magnitude of this until I was in the heart of western Romania, and I came to learn not only about missional living but I also received answer to another elusive heart’s desire – I have now found what Max Lucado calls “the sweet spot”. Everything I had been seeking culminated in this adventure in Romania. I cannot possibly share every story nor can I convey every emotion, but I hope that my daily journals will give you a taste of what God can do when we are obedient to His call. I was fully unequipped to accomplish one thing in the world, but I am living proof that God can accomplish anything through us. And to Him is all the glory.
continue reading: Day One
21 November 2007 Leave a comment
Thursday
The clouds from my window lie below with a canopy of clearest blue. They are puffy, billowy, like meringue with round peaks. It occurs to me that this must be the view of the ground in Antarctica – purest white as far as the eye can see, peaks rising from the surface every few feet, reminding me how small I really am.
After a while the cloud carpet breaks and I see peaks of another sort, what must be mountains beneath the clouds though they are so small as to appear unreal. As I watch this wonderland pass slowly by I am filled with awe. And I am overwhelmed at the magnitude of the God who created all of this for me to behold.
My thoughts turn to the days ahead. The same God who created the heavens has asked us to share His love story with His people. That He would ask me is astounding enough, but to realize that He so loves people that He wants to draw them close is more than I can comprehend. And I am truly overwhelmed.
The magnitude of what I am traveling toward is astounding. I am full. I can only trust the Lord to believe that I am ready. It is not in my power but in the power of the Spirit. I am reminded of my dad’s words to me this morning: “This is when we understand what Paul said, ‘When I am weak, then I am strong.’”
continue reading: Day Two
21 November 2007 Leave a comment
Friday
I have dreamed of visiting Europe for as long as I can remember but never in one of those dreams did I think of Romania. I have seen very little and met only a few people – all in the comfort and security of an American group – and I awaken early today in anticipation of God’s work.
We traveled by plane from Dallas to Kennedy airport in New York City, then shortly boarded a plane to Venice, Italy, traveling under darkened skies. Several hours out I looked out my window to see the breaking of the dawn and watched as the sky took on the brilliant colors of morning sunrise that have never been so beautiful as when reflecting off a horizon of clouds. Just after the sky fully lightened, I glanced behind my right shoulder to see a nearly full moon perched in the short distance and at nearly eye level. The heavens are truly filled with Your glory, O Lord.
Our approach to Venice took us just to the right of the Old City, yet even through the haze I could see the city blocks perfectly laid out amidst the water surrounding it. At that altitude I could still only dream of what it must be like to walk its streets. But that’s another trip.
The stop in Venice marked the end of our large jet travel; we flew the Romanian airline Carpatair into Timisoara. This was my first experience on a smaller craft, and it fulfilled a dream of mine to board a plane from the tarmac instead of a tunnel. The plane housed approximately 150 seats, had exposed propellers in front of the wings, and the interior was narrow with low overheads. The experience was so different from traveling on the large Delta jet, but traveling on Carpatair made this trip seem real for the first time since leaving the States. Our flight attendant began the standard speech about safety regulations that you hear on any commercial flight, but she spoke first in the quick, lilting Romanian language then again in perfect English, and a third time in pitch-perfect Italian. Multiple speeches, each in three languages and all in a perfect, unbroken cadence. It was at this point that my heart soared to find myself in Romania.
We met Doru, the pastor who coordinated this mission adventure from the Romanian side, and in his hands we were carried by passenger van the 30 km from Timisoara to Arad. The trip might have taken an hour from the hectic streets of Timisoara though expansive farm country to the metropolis of Arad were it not for “one quick stop”. Doru explained the need for gasoline then offered to purchase a liter of bottled water for each of us (“apa, no gas”), and we ended up in the parking lot of a grocery supermarket. Our US coordinator, Kent Jones, returned to the van to report that the store was basically a Romanian Wal-Mart, with everything you would need housed on its shelves. On the other end of the parking lot we noticed another large building labeled Selgros: Cash and Carry. Doru explained that this store sold items in bulk quantities. Of course. A Romanian Sam’s Club to accompany its Wal-Mart cousin. The American experience was heightened further by the presence of a car decorated with Cheetos marketing logos. We realized that we’re really not that far from home.
This feeling was compounded by our lush hotel. The Maxim Hotel might be a 4-Star accommodation back in the States, but nestled within its industrial neighborhood it is decidedly modern and upscale. With its sort of Asian-influenced, Scandinavian décor, the Maxim felt opulent compared to what we all expected. And while it was nice to have hot multi-headed showers and air conditioning to sleep under after long flights and sweaty hikes to and fro, I can’t hide my disappointment at not staying in one of the old world hotels that has been pounded by history and is still full of rich stories waiting to be found. I expect I’ll get much of this in the home of my host family. It is then that I will truly enter this experience of a lifetime.
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REFLECTION: Father, Your goodness overwhelms me. To look around today at my dreams come to life at every turn is something I should have expected yet am surprised even still. How awesome of You to say “yes” to my heart’s desire. I am humbled to be loved so much.
Lord, I want to honor You these days. I want to honor this gift You’ve given me. To be assured of eternity in Your Presence is truly enough, but to be granted the opportunity to bring others with me is a generosity beyond comprehension. The challenge is daunting, Father, but I thank You for all You have given me to be equipped for the task. My Jesus has assured me that You will honor all that is done in His Name. Be glorified, God, in my speech, my heart, my attitude and the touch of my hands. Open the hearts of Your people in the Arad area and fill them with a sense of urgency to know You through Christ, our Redeemer.
continue reading: Day Three
21 November 2007 Leave a comment
Saturday
Our team attended the opening rally this morning at Golgota, one of the larger Baptist churches in Arad. Doru introduced us to the pastors with whom we will be paired for the week, and then both he and the other coordinators made introductory remarks and encouraged us all for the week ahead. After brief introductions by everyone attending, as well as a praise chorus sung by most of us in phonetic Romanian, we finally met our host pastors with whom we would be working throughout the week. John Hill and I have been teamed with Florin Bālāceanu, who pastors two churches: Hope Baptist Church in Agrişu-Mare, a village located 37 km outside of Arad, and Grace Baptist in Hunedoara-Timişana, approximately 15 km out of Arad. We were immediately taken to Florin’s car to drive out to Agrişu-Mare where we would stay the majority of the week.
Simply wedging our enormous luggage into the hatchback of Florin’s compact car was comical enough – he was completely unprepared for the volume that two inexperienced Americans would choose to lug to Europe – but everything became ridiculous when we also stopped to pick up Florin’s interpreter stand-in, Laurenţiu, and proceeded to wedge him into the back seat in classic clown-car fashion. This certainly started us off in hilarious style, and I quickly hit it off with Laurenţiu (who was forced to perch Florin’s 12-year-old daughter Ema on his lap for the duration of the ride; poor girl had no option but to tilt her head to the side as there was no head room for her at all). The drive was at the very least 45 minutes, and the three of us in the back seat talked the entire time of movies, music, and personal interests. I cannot thank God enough for Laurenţiu and his near-fluency in English. John and I are staying at his family home with his parents who speak no English; having an interpreter with us round the clock, and someone who is accustomed to speaking conversationally in English, is a blessing beyond measure.
We began our village adventure with lunch prepared by Cornelia Gavriş, Laurenţiu’s mom, which consisted of rice-stuffed sweet peppers in a rich, vegetable broth, accompanied by slices of bread, marble cake and two kinds of sweet cookies. I don’t know if I am simply tired or if my adrenaline has superceded my appetite, but I could barely eat the bowl of soup and three small peppers. It was delicious, but my body could not hold it. I am hoping the rest of the week is more normal for me.
A family friend had been staying at the Gavriş home, taking some R&R after having lost her employer (Laurenţiu’s aunt) to cancer just this week. The friend, Hoini, was caretaker to the woman and Laurenţiu explained that she had been staying with his parents to have some time to process. The afternoon turned into a beautiful picture of God turning ashes to beauty.
Laurenţiu took John and me with him while driving Hoini back to her village of Drauţ, a short 6 km from Agrişu-Mare. Once there, Hoini introduced us to her parents and all of us sat in their living room and enjoyed a glass of Coke while chatting (through Laurenţiu). Afterward, Hoini led us through her village to show us her church. The walk became a hike as we climbed up and down trail-beaten hills made muddy by recent rain or worn down to a rocky path by so much use. Along the way, Hoini and Laurenţiu talked like old friends, sometimes providing us with English translation but mostly speaking in their shared language. Hoini speaks no English although she can understand much of it, but she and John discovered that they could actually communicate through Spanish instead! A large portion of the day featured conversations in multiple translations, and the irony and humor was lost on none of us.
Hoini’s church was established in 1983, before Romania was free from Communism; that a church was able to form and continue during such oppression surprises and humbles me, and if given the chance, it’s a conversation I want to have with someone who remembers the early days. Hoini’s brother works on the church in a maintenance/renovation capacity, and he was busy building a foyer from large cinder bricks when we arrived. Her cousin was also at the church, and she coaxed him into sitting at the keyboard at the head of the church and performing a selection of hymns for us. After only a few, Laurenţiu’s love of gospel music got the better of him and he meandered toward the front until he finally picked up a microphone himself. Along with every song, Hoini added her own voice to the mix in a proud, clear, perfectly-pitched vocal that filled the church with rich praise. By the end of 45 minutes or more, all singing parties (and the non-singing John and myself) were circled around the keyboard and celebrating a shared love of music and our Lord. Though I understood not a word, the message was clear: God places a joy within His people that cannot be contained and should not be stifled.
On the route back to Hoini’s home, we headed to the top of the hill on which sat the village’s Orthodox church. Although the building is stunning, it was closed tight and showed no signs of life. As I think back on it now, it is an apt metaphor for what I understand about the religion of that church. For the four of us it held no sway outside its architecture. How sweet to be in the presence of God’s precious few.
We made one more stop on our trek back to Hoini’s home, a “quick” stop at her cousin’s home. Hoini’s sister was also there, and I felt so blessed to have met so many members of her family. She must have told her uncle of the spontaneous hymnsing at the church because no sooner than we sat in her aunt’s living room did her uncle and cousin begin pulling out a keyboard, violin and amplifier equipment to set up in the courtyard. Twenty minutes later we were treated to a short set of hymns performed, at Laurenţiu’s request, in “gypsy style”. Laurenţiu was amused and captivated by the fact that this mini-concert had been set up in the outdoors, and I was enraptured by the spontaneity, the immense talent, and the honesty of the moment. I am so thankful to the Lord for using these scenes as our introduction to Romanian culture.
Of the many revelations made today, I must note the following above all:
Hospitality is categorically important to the villagers we met. At each home we were invited to sit and share a beverage with them, and all apologized for not having food prepared to offer us. I continually had to respond “nu” when offered plates of fruit or the like and kept hoping to convey how full I was from lunch. It is not an easy “no” but managed not to offend anyone.
Romanian Christians, at least, are ready at moment’s notice to lift their voices in loud and rich praise to the Father and our Savior King. It is the sweetest sight yet.
In the evening I had to slip out of the room when, just after declaring my intention to hit the bed early, Ema came to visit and brought her friend, also Ema, to meet us. Soon after, the church’s deacon, Avram, joined with two other boys. This turned out to be Avram’s family. Though I ran the risk of being rude, I excused myself and became very scarce, taking a shower and staying in my bedroom to prep for Sunday. During my few trips in and out of the house, I heard the group once again regaling the Lord in song and covering the day in prayer. I’ll have to get John’s story sometime later. I simply bid them all “noapte bunâ” and closed my door. A cheerful “good night” was given in return.
continue reading: Day Four
balancing the earthly experience
with a heavenly calling
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